Friday, April 25, 2008

Sandy Beaches, Turquoise Blue Waters and Brain Drain

See, my faithful fans, I promised I would get better at the blogging thing and just look - a mere 14 days since my last post and I'm here to entertain you yet again. And here's what I have learned since my last musings. The sun and ocean rob you of your brain's power and ability to function. And I can prove it.

Aqua Rat had a birthday on April 4th. His parents were in town that weekend, so I planned his surprise birthday trip for this past weekend, the 17 - 21st. I kept him in the dark, giving him only a packing list and some tanning sessions, to hint at what was to come. We flew from Chicago to Charlotte, NC, Thursday morning, on the first leg of our flight. I think for a little while, he was worried we were actually going to be vacationing in Charlotte. Not that there's anything wrong with Charlotte, but it's not known to be a hot-bed of magical vacation activity. Once we landed in Charlotte, we had only a few minutes to change terminals and get to our gate. And from that point on, I was besieged with questions about where we were going. Finally we were in our departure concourse and passing gate D1. "Are we going to San Juan?" Aqua Rat asked, as we passed the display listing D1's destination. "Nope," I said. Gate D3: "Are we going to St. Thomas?" he asked again. "Nope," was the same answer. Gate D5: "Are we going to St. Maarten?" he asked for the last time. "Yup," I replied. "Really?!?!?" "Yup." "Where is that?" After confirming for him that it was deep in the Caribbean, we boarded our flight and were off.

I could pepper you with all the cliches about turquoise waters, sandy, golden beaches and lovely resorts (which would all be true), but instead I'll just say you should go see it for yourself. It is absolutely amazing there. We had a great time, the food was fantastic, the weather even better and we're back home, wishing we'd had 3 more days and put on more sunscreen (although we are both quite brown).

The funny story, and the purpose of my blog, began on our trip home. We had an overnight layover in Charlotte, heading back. That means that we went through customs there. Keep in mind, it was late (8:45 p.m., roughly), I was tired and very hungry. I just wanted to get to the hotel, order room service and snuggle in for the night. But we have a blond, southern gent asking us all kinds of questions. Like, "Where are 'yall coming in from tonight?" To which I think, "Well dumbass, it says right there on my entry form that I've just returned from St. Maarten. And I'm sure you have a schedule of arrivals somewhere on your desk, so why are you asking me where the hell I'm coming in from?" But I don't say these things. Instead I answer his question. He asks how the trip was? Did we like it there? Are we ready to head back to our work week?

And then he asks me what I do for a living. "I'm in sales," I spout off. "Really? What do you sell?" Uhhhh - crap. What DO I sell? I have total brain freeze! For the life of me, I can't remember what my job is or if I even actually have one. Then out of my mouth pops, "Dental equipment." Now for those of you that know me, you will remember that once upon a time, I did sell dental equipment, but that hasn't been a part of my life for going on 5 years now. Why in God's name I answered dental equipment, I'll never know, but by this point I'm in now and I can't back out. If I backtrack and say, "Oh wait, I forgot, I don't do that anymore," he's going to have the drug sniffing dogs up my behind faster that you can say fried pickles and they'll be tossing my shorts and swimsuits hither and yon as they search our bags. So I just stick with it. But now he's curious. What kind of dental equipment? I find myself prattling off a description of ShadeVision, which I loved and sold for several years. He seems satisfied with that and turns and asks Aqua Rat what he does and low and behold he answers correctly and we're off, on our way down the hall.

We get out of earshot and Aqua Rat looses it. "Dental Equipment?! DENTAL EQUIPMENT?!? Since WHEN?" So for the rest of the night, I was gently ribbed about losing my mind and forgetting what I spend more hours a week than not doing. Questions were lobbed at me like, "Do you think you'll forget you have a boyfriend? Or a dog? Or where you live?" All very funny.

So what I have determined, is that the sun and sandy beaches, while lovely and alluring, steal brain cells. Far more cells than those your high school science teacher warned you about loosing to alcohol. Somehow, while laying by the pool and/or frolicking in the Caribbean Ocean, my brain just started to drift off, like the puffy clouds occasionally floating over my head. By the next morning, I seemed to have come back to my senses (I'm attributing it to the apple pie I had the night before at the hotel), but I have a feeling that this is one story I won't live down anytime soon. :)

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